Khaandaan etc

This hilariously heart warming msg about the local Illahabadi vocabulary / dialect recently shared on social media by some nostalgic Illahabadis , which I shared with my folks too , and a cousin’s remark :

" Tum bhi to aadhi Illahabadi ho ... " 

( I was married into a family from Allahabad ) that got me thinking ... 

Ek insaan ke andar kitni jagah ki mitti khoon bann kar daud rahi hoti hai 

Kitni jaghoN ke paaniyoN ne uss ki khoobsoorti ko siiNcha hota hai 

Ek hi insaan kitney qabiiloN , kitney mazhaboN , kitney cultures ka chalta-phirta representative hota hai ... 

Equality among human beings is a very important point in theoretical Islam , but when it comes to human interactions one cannot deny the existence of sects , sub sects castes etc among Muslims also

And that illusion “ ours-is-the-true-Islam “ with which every sect "enlightens" the minds of their young ones remains a disappointing reality 

Fortunately I have grown up in a Khandaan that pretty much has been a wholesome pot of mixed ingredients ... like the delicious haleem where wheat , rice , barley are mixed with a number of daals and meat / chicken and cooked with spices ...

Our "Haleem" of relationships has an innovative addition of vegetables too , to add to its nutritional value 😀

My grandfather ( Dada ) belonged the Syed sect while Dadi was a Pathan 

My mother and my Chaachi belonged to Pathan families too

Mummy used to often jokingly say that her Saasu Mom chose Pathan Bahus , to ensure that her side of the genes becomes more prominent in the next generation 😜 ... and that we children are therefore 75% Pathan and only 25% Syed 😀 

So much for our seriousness on the matter of man-made differences between human beings 

No one took these differences to heart 

Even religious differences melted in the warmth of our family hearth 🤝🏼👏🏼💞💞💞

In my parents youth there used to be large joint families in almost every house , and many such houses in a mohalla , who were intertwined and interconnected like a mesh , sharing dialects , customs , clothes , arts , food habits and so much more in a heterogenous amalgamation 

Language laced with wit and mutual respect was the most interesting and visible colour that decorated the tapestry of our existence 

It would have made for a good peek into the culture and customs of a Khandaan in Uttar Pradesh , had someone cared to note them down somewhere because language is the window that opens the character of the people who make it a medium of their communication 

We know what it is like to have half of your clan lost in time because some "leaders of the people" wanted people to be divided !!!

Hence we value human relationships dearly

It is Mashaallah an extremely rejuvenating , enriching and beautiful feeling to share cultures and lives with people of different ethnicities as they find their way through your heart , to your family 

I hope and pray that sensibility and affection spreads even wider in my lovely and blessed Khaandaan ... and elsewhere ... And everyyyyyyywhere ... 😘😘😘

Aameen 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Luck By Chance

I had to get my routine right. Sleep early, to get up early. And here was my chance. That evening there was not much to do. After dinner I could even go for a walk and then to bed. With my self-served dinner plate in hand I sat in front of the Stupid I-Box. Before starting to eat I tuned to DD National. A film called "Luck By Chance" was being aired.
I was sure it'd be a boring film and I'd switch off the television even before finishing the food.
But it was a pleasant surprise......a beautiful experience...much like meeting a very dear old friend out of the blue!!!

A well-made film on relationships in Bollywood (Err..."Hindi Film Industry" as Dimple Kapadia's character in the film would like it to be called). Thoroughly entertaining and yet it was not just about entertainment as it portrayed the complexities of the biggest entertainment industry in the country quite honestly, with a sophistication that demands some maturity.

I think Bollywood backdrop was incidental. The crux of the story was human relations. Ego and self respect. Ambition and principles. Despair and hope.
Indeed looking beyond the Hindi Film Industry, it talks of human beings in general. The journey of life that takes them through a maze of circumstances, which at one time seems to just keep demanding while at some other time it seems to become an endless shower of bounties. But whatever life may give, it enriches the human being every time.
And it is mostly Luck By Chance!!!

Farishtey mil jaatey haiN

So ... they may not come to us everyday ... But when the do , they leave behind a feeling of contentment , happiness and positivity for many days ... because these beautiful human beings are God Ji's avtar

And they come to you in every walk of life

The other day I was in a rush to meet someone , so I thought of taking an auto instead of the usual BEST bus

After a few drivers refused to go to where I wanted to go , one thankfully agreed , but there was one hitch
I had twenty five rupees in small notes / coins and the rest was 500 rupee notes

So I asked the driver to leave me even if my destination had not arrived after reaching 25 rupees on the meter because he did not have 500 rupee change

But he said :
" Nahi Madam ! Aisi bhi kya baat hai ... Chaar - paaNch rupaya kam-zyadaa ho jataa hai ... MaiN aap ko baraabar wahiiN pahuNchaaooNga jahaaN aap ne janaa hai ... "

And he did what he said !!!

He gave me a four - five rupee discount
But the blessings he got ( and gets every time I think of him 😊 ) in return for his favour are of much more value I am sure because they are genuinely from the depth my heart 💝

Mazhab ki Mandi

It is not only those gun-wielding-flag-raising fanatics who have been brainwashed into accepting barbarism and insanity in the name of God 
Don't be surprised when you come across rigidly opinionated believers of an ideology and their self-righteous bluntness !

While the first type are trained and turned into cold blooded murderers in the path of a so called religion , the second type are convinced of their "peaceful" existence as followers of the “most peaceful” religion on this planet , no matter which religion / ideology they follow !!!

So while the militarised followers jubilantly take the law in their hands , the “peaceful” ones are apparently law-abiding citizens , ironically encouraging the law breakers silently (or vocally) because both these categories have one thing in common: 

Their sensibilities have been mortgaged in one of the many WhatsApp Universities for a load of crap called "knowledge" !!!

Building extravagant places of worship , and then releasing a list of the "wealthiest of such places in the world" is like reading the Forbes list of the most powerful / influential business tycoons in the world 😊😊😊 and going about asserting one's religious ostentation reminds me of the popular advertisement of a famous detergent bar where the lady remarks pretentiously :

"Bhala uss ki saari meri saari se safed kaisey ... 🤔😊😛 !

 

In the olden days Prophets , darveshs and saints would fast and meditate as a gesture of prayer for peace and harmony among the diverse population of this world . There was no competition nor were judgements passed , no one went to the roof tops proclaiming that they were the best !!!

Their Ibaadat was for healing and harmony🤝🏼💐💕💕💕 so selling mud and water must never have crossed their simple non materialistic minds !

With so much social and religious churning happening and religious beliefs playing havoc with the sensibilities of a normal human being , I am reminded of the American theoretical physicist and Nobel laureate, Steven Weinberg who once said, "With or without religion, good people can behave well and *bad people can do evil*; but for good people to do evil - that takes religion." !!!

The Islamic Holy month Ramzaan is underway these days 

Fasting during the month of Ramzaan by Muslims is an obligation of faith 

So be it 

We ve heard a thousand times and more that there are no reasons in faith 

Something is ordered 

And it must be followed 

Period 

And there is no hurting "Others" sentiment

So it's okay if a religious group is performing their religious duty 

 

Then why do we have all these stories enumerating the virtues of fasting ? And lo and behold ! There is Science and social responsibility expertly woven into an ordinance of faith to convince the considerably intelligent mind that might question the logic behind following a particular rule or action 

So we are told that fasting has various health benefits and also going hungry and thirsty for several hours in the day helps us in understanding the plight of the underprivileged who live with lack of food water and other amenities of life throughout the year 

This also well taken 

 

But then what is it about abstinence from eating certain foods like meat , pork , onion-garlic all your life ... ?

And abstaining from drinking (alcohol ) ?!!!

Why so much fuss over what to eat and what not in a world where millions go hungry everyday ?

In a sensible world fasting ( as in abstaining from eating for a prescribed number of hours in a day ) should be for the unscrupulously overfed ... !

But abhi ke liye let's leave that point 

And abstain from discussing world obesity and malnutrition indices 

Also in that spirit of abstinence , I ll abstain from speaking about other religions because I don't know much about them , waise to khaair I don't know much about the religion I am born into either 😊

But still as far as Ramzaan is concerned , I think I can speak a bit because I have been fasting since my school days . Back then it used to be some kind of a thrill when your classmates would marvel at your stamina to remain hungry and thirsty all day long for your faith ... !!!

But that was perhaps good for a little girl who never quite understood why one has to fast a whole month to understand the plight of the hungry

Isn’t just one day enough 🤔 ?

Every year with the advent of Ramzaan begins an incessant stream of messages informing us of the various "advantages" of fasting

This information is mostly a repetition from past so many years , the only difference being that they have now graduated and mastered from verbal sermons to e mailing to WhatsApping 😆

And the number of messages , now camouflaged in "scientific" discoveries has increased in number too !!!

However with all these years of fasting behind me , I am still not convinced of any health benefits 

I mean you don't drink water through out the day for about a month ... How healthy is that ... ???
And waking up in the middle of the night , to eat sehri , disturbing normal sleep , again for a month at an hour of the day that cannot be your normal ever !!!

Wo bhi health benefit hai 😊🤔😯 ?

Then there is the taraveeh , at least an hour long special night prayer in the month of Ramzaan
It is believed that The Holy Qura'n was revealed to The Prophet in this month
And so the Imaam Saheb spreads out its recitation during Taraveeh in such a manner that the entire Quran is recited in this month
Again the believer is given a dose of science and logic saying that taraveeh helps in balancing any overeating one may have indulged into at iftaar time because Namaaz as per research is nothing but yogic asanas ... And you also get to listen to the Quran Shariif without making any extra effort ... So isn't it a win -win situation for the rozedaar ?

Now unless you are an exceptionally extraordinary person , you cannot afford to go on working efficiently with just 3 / 4 hour sleep per day for a whole month !!!
But habit and conditioning has made it possible in most cases 

Also cultivating a sense of empathy in people doesn't bear much fruit 

How can you come about to being humble and caring anyway when you are following a system robotically with a bloated ego exalting your religious and societal supremacy !!!

During Ramzaan , Masjids host iftaari feasts and so a lot of the underprivileged sincerely fast so that they can eat one delicious ( and hopefully healthy ) meal in the whole day for a month

Is this not a pathetic scenario for a community who boasts of equality and justice , that the poor among them have to wait for a whole year , then fast for a full day under all kinds of weather conditions and with meager resources , so they can claim their right to eat bananas and samosas in the Masjid ... ?

Those who don't / can't fast ( for whatever reason ) are pitied and secretly looked down upon 

Some Orthodox elders even try to admonish these "gone-astray" Momins for loosing out on such a "rare" divine opportunity ... that by the way , presents itself annually 😐

So the point I am trying to reiterate is that religion indeed is the opium of the masses , a drug the intake of which is never controlled and an over dose is neither prohibited nor deemed dangerous !!!

Look at how preachers everywhere weave religion into their speeches that change a reasonably sensible human being into a senseless disdainful and unjust reactionary 

Most certainly it would have to be extremely painstaking hard work with no guaranteed obedience , had this mindless conditioning of the human mind not been connected to religious beliefs 

But with a pinch or two of religion thrown in small amounts as they apparently tackle a social issue , these preachers unsuspectingly yet firmly bring people to conform to their ideology ... 

Religious , cultural , political whichever ... !

Religion invokes a mixture of fear , guilt and righteousness to make it easy on the one hand to ghettoize people , and on the other to intoxicate them with a false sense of supremacy

Inflated with egotism , unwittingly and perilously these blind followers submit their entire lives to the ideology / belief of a mere mortal whose leadership they have accepted 

Their religious conditioning is now complete 

Their minds are now closed

And their hearts are sealed 

They have finally entered the Mazhab-ki-मंडी  

Bikhrey Rishte

Recently a cousin of my late mother lost his wife
He had migrated to the neighbouring "enemy" country many many years back and had taken a portion of my mom's life too with him
And indeed a slice of his life remained alive on this side too :-)

On either side of the border the cousins must ve most longingly relived the same stories over and over a thousand times and more ... because what he left back here was his bachpan and adolescence
And what he had taken away was a part of my mom's bachpan and adolescence

Although politicians on either side who created this sinful divide are free to show hostility or friendship to each other as per their moods and requirements , the common man cannot lay claim to such luxuries

Pakistan kya banaa rishtey aur Khaandaan sab buri tarah bikhar gaye ... Bachpan baNt gaye , jawaaniyaN alhadpana bhool gayiiN ... Budhapaa apne umar daraaz aaNsoo chhalkata rahaa ...

Kisi qaum ke rehber ne nahi socha ke ghar to phir bass jaatey haiN lekin ujdey huay log chaahey iss paar hoN ya uss paar adhoorey ho kar reh jaatey haiN ...

Kuchh idhar reh gaye kuchh udhar chaley gaye ... Aur duuriyoN ke shuruaati daur ke uss shadiid dard ki , uss adhooreypan ki dheere-dheere aadat si ho gayi

Zindgi ka safar chalta rahaa ... Chalta bhi rahey ga ... 😊

Lekin kabhi jab koi buzurg inn jhameloN se alwida kehta uss duniya meiN chalaa jataa hai , ki jahaaN koi bhed - bhaav nahi , tab baith kar kuchh der ko zaroor bachpan meiN suni apno ki kahaaniyaN bahot yaad aati haiN

Kya aisa bhi koi daur guzra hai ... Yaqeen karney ko dil chaahta hai ... Aur ye bhi ke kaash wo din waapis aa jaaeiN ...

Wo shaaerana guftgoo , wo laziiz sense of humour , wo baasmati chaawal ki mehek , wo tavey par siNkti rotiyoN ki soNdhi khushboo ...

wo chamakta paandaan , wo leheriye waale malmal ke dupatte , wo aaNgan meiN phaili lal mircheiN , Naani jin ka achaar banaati thiiN ...

wo anNgrez miyaN-biwi jo hamare nanihaal ki kothi ke ek portion meiN rehtey thay , wo aamrood ka bagh jo Naani ke chhajje se dikhaai deta tha , wo Neem ke ped meiN padaa jhoola ...

wo thaali-bhar gol gappe zeera-paani aur chatni , wo guava jelly ki khushboo jo aNgrez sahiba banayaa karti thiiN ...

Mummy ki generation ke saath ye aur naa jaaney aisi kitni hi dilnawaaz aur anmol yaadeiN bhi dafan hoti jaa rahi haiN 

Itney bikhar gaye haiN ... Log bhi , ghar - makaan bhi ... ke ab waapis puraani soorat bananaa naamumkin hi hai

Bass itna karam rahey ke kabhi phone par apne-apne zindgi ke tukde jodd kar khush ho sakeiN
Unn waqtoN ke mazaar par ek kamzor si shamaa jalaa kar apne guzrey buzurgoN ki yaadeiN raushan kar sakeiN
Unn bhooli-bisri mohabbatoN ke saaye meiN ghadi bhar aaNkheiN mooNd kar koi tazaa-dum khwaab kal ke waastey dekh sakeiN ...

What a Change this !!!

I remember as a little girl I used to get so embarrassed when someone would ask me this very common question :
" What's your name ?"
Before even uttering it I could imagine the bemused look on their faces when they would hear the word "Zohra" ... !!!

But I can't blame them because most of the non Muslims would not understand the word at first , although at least two popular , but old Bollywood songs had the word "Zohra" in the mukhdas

So it was heart breaking to see that after much effort when I thought they had finally got it right , they would ruin it with the pronunciation or the spelling 😀 !!!

Even among Muslims "Zohra" was , still is , and quite strangely so , not a preferred name ...
So even Muslims would give a not-so-happy look on hearing "Zohra" as if the name had some underlying sin attached to it 😛 !!!

So for the first twelve or thirteen years of my life I grew up eagerly wishing that my parents would change my name to a more familiar , and preferably , Z-less word 😒 !!!

This heartfelt wish is now more than four decades old and has thankfully outgrown its youthful eagerness 😌

Many years before that The British had left our country after first being the catalyst that united hundreds of warring riyasats into one Bharat , and then treacherously dividing it into India and Pakistan !!!
Too much had changed for those who had experienced the horrors of partition ...
And whatever had changed was too shocking to ask for more ...

And so no one paid much heed to my "childish desire" to somehow be able to change my name and detach myself from The "Zohra" Effect 😑

Meanwhile some more years went by ... I was about thirteen or fourteen when I met Aunty Olivia ...

An extremely sophisticated and dainty lady , her hand writing was like musical notes written on paper 😍
She was the first person who pronounced my name correctly in the very first attempt , and with her characteristic sweet smile , spontaneously remarked that it was a beautiful and unique name

She was a gentle and kind woman
But she was not trying to be just good to me by superficially "sympathizing" with me on this name issue 💗 
Her positivity and genuineness were real

Among other meanings like "radiant" and "beautiful" , the word "Zohra" is also the Urdu name for Planet " Venus " ...
I had also discovered that there used to be a famous singer in Hindi Cinema Industry called Zohrabai Ambalewaali 😊 ...
This , and of course the songs "Zohra Jabeen ... " and "Zohra Jamaal ... " did help lift my spirit quite often 😊 !!!

But it was actually Aunty Olivia , who made me fall in love with my name , and ever since , whatever be people's reaction , I am very happy that my wish to free myself from "The Zohra Effect" was never fulfilled 😙

While Shakespeare may have said "What's in a name" , honestly anyone calling a rose by some other name does make a fool of himself and shows how ignorant he is 😏 !!!

Your name is the door to your identity
It is said that your name also has an impact on your personality
May be that is another reason why siblings are so different from one another 😎

I do realize as I look back that I am very fortunate to have met sensible and sweet people like Aunty Olivia , who by their deeds and actions transmitted goodness all around ...
Their reassuring smiles promised a better tomorrow 💞

They may physically not be near me but continue to remain in my thoughts
Their goodness is inspirational and their positivity is contagious

Their numbers must increase because they are the ones who do not insist on changing a mere name , they invisibly , yet decisively , transform a negative into a positive .

Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le Aaye

Eleven years back, the day his mom was celebrating her birthday, a boy in class eleven "meets" a girl in class nine through a social net working site
With the passage of time they must have discovered in each other an invisible mutual attraction that must have worked in consonance with The Divine Power bringing them closer to each other

A bond that blossomed more and more with every birthday they celebrated, blooming steadily Spring after Spring , growing stronger till they realized that they are destined to be together forever 💐

So here a girl and a boy who had so far "met" only in the virtual world decide to marry each other 💝 !

Everything ... Well almost everything ... about this event was interesting and romantic and at times unusually nerve-racking

As both the families started preparing and planning for the special day with great enthusiasm, little had they realized that God Ji was planning it all His own way

The baraatis from South India landed in the girl's home town in North India by an afternoon flight

At the airport they are informed that the bride-to-be had been suffering from fever for the last few days, she has been diagnosed with dengue and is hospitalized

Suddenly the mood changes from being joyous to becoming worried
The girl's relatives, keeping the spirit high and smiling through such trying times ... running from home to hospital to the venue, and doing everything possible to make the baraatis comfortable in their hotel rooms ... 👍

Mendhi ceremony scheduled for the evening is cancelled but the Mendhi Waali comes and applies henna in beautiful designs on the palms of all female guests

Every heart meanwhile is praying for the girl's health
She thankfully responds well to the treatment, and to everyone's relief is discharged from the hospital well in time for the Nikaah the next day , which goes off very well by God Ji's grace

And so exactly after eleven years, from the day they had first met, on the day the boy's mom is celebrating yet another birthday, the girl and the boy meet face-to-face for the first time
As bride and groom ... 😘 !!!

God Ji pens and plans the stories we all live through in our lives
He gifts to us our dreams, our actions, our family, our friends, and everything else

This one has been unusally exciting ... and suspenseful too ... so much like a thrilling Hindi film script with a happy ending 😘 !

And as we welcome the new bride we realize that this is just the beginning of a beautiful and blessed relationship between two young human beings, and their families 😊

On this auspicious occasion let us pray with utmost sincerity that may there be happiness, love and peace for everyone on this Earth
And may the beautiful dreams of all our loved ones come true
💝💝💝