I am a diehard Hindi Cinema fan. All the melody in my life comes from Hindi film songs. I think these songs take a lot of stress off my heart and mind, and help me unwind
Grinding, cleaning and cooking become so much more refreshing as I "sing them away" .....
It is therefore no wonder that humming comes to me naturally when I am in the kitchen.
This morning it was a 1972 song that gave me Kitchen-company .
This simple and sweet, has been very popular in its time. It is now apparently lost , but I am sure still it puts into words the dreams of every girl.
"Mere piya ka ghar hai ye , Raani hoon main, Raani hoon ghar ki...."
How comforting. And so ultimately romantic.
The house where I am no less than an Empress and where I rule, is my Paradise on this Planet.
And so it should be
Every woman's home to her should be no less than a Paradise on this Planet.
Then why do so many women and girls have to go out of their Kingdoms to slave and slog ?
This was not a lonely thought though.
It came with a stream of mind-boggling memories ... some recent, some old, but all entwiend into one another.
Silently and slowly Times change, circumstances and lifestyles also change as people transcend from one decade to another, from one Century to another .......
My mother used to teach in the school where my siblings and I studied. But after my sister's illness, which lasted some months, Mummy left the job. Though my sister got well eventually and went back to school, Mummy never went back to that or any other job. She did not need to go out of the house to work for a living .
My father earned enough to look after our needs and also often helped other needy people, of which I got to know only after I had grown up.
In college I heard friends talking of their future in a bank or some good corporate office.
"Future plans? Yeah ... I think I ll marry yaar "
"Oh! You stupid ... don't you plan for uncertainities ... and provide for them ... ???"
One friend retorted, banging her head with her palm, and giving up on me.
Fast forward to the present.
Everyone ... a girl or a boy ... seeks job-oriented education.
"What do you do?" is the first question one expects to face on meeting someone for the first time.
And so I found myself wondering if it is really so important for women to go out of the comfort and safety of a decent house and through all the grind of a ride in tiresome crowded public transport, most often under the prying eyes that measure all the statistics , although they may have nothing more than just a good heart within.
And when I sat by myself after lunch, I seem to have heard a female voice somewhere in the air telling me how she suffers the daily ordeal of tackling a drunk husband who has no fixed job.
This was my maid, who had now left her job at my place . Fed up of the daily beatings that she suffered at her husband's hands, she had gone back to her village.
Back to her parents place. What she was doing there I have no idea.
Another voice came through piercing my ears ........
"My mother-in-law says I've not brought enough dowry. She does not even let me stay in the house with my husband. And my husband is helpless ... he cannot defend me in front of his mother ... "
This was the woman who works for me these days.
She stays with her mother at the mercy of her brothers, and although the mother also works, these women have no power to spend the money they earn or to live a life they would like to within their means.
Then there were those two large eyes staring at me ...
They were indifferent to the world , but not to the pain in life ...
This brave woman was fighting it out with her own brother who had disowned their mother and slapped a legal case on her.
Middle class family.
Graduate ... or may be less ... I am not sure. After crying her heart out , she has now wiped out every trace of tears from her attractive face and went out of the house for the first time to seek a job.
She now works in a hospital .
And before I could do something about those eyes, there arose another face ... innocent, tormented and yet masking a lot of what the heart had gone through ......... this charming , young , well educated woman , has a good job , a good house , fashionable branded clothes and accessories ... and her own car too.
She is modern.
She had married the man of her choice. Very well-place family.
Very socially and religiously aware
She is going through a separation process ... I hate to call it divorce ...
She was informing me ...
"Nothing changes with women and girls. We all have the same life. Can you believe I'm not much different from your maids ... or that girl fighting a legal court case ... the only difference perhaps is that I can speak good English , I wear expensive clothes and I can afford a lot of the things that money can buy ...."
These are just four instances from among countless such unjust happenings around us.
I feel so distraught.
Women are being judged.
They are being told how to dress up in public
They are being given a list of "Do-s and Don't-s" ...
It is being implied that they stay at home. At the slightest pretext their characters come under the scanner.
But who has pushed them to the wall so much that that instead of getting suffocated and sqeezed they have pushed hard , turned around , found an open door and preferred to go out ...
Going out of their homes to seek peace.
Abandoning their "Kingdoms" and preferring "slavery" ...
Who took away their right to to live a decent life inside the four walls of their own home ? And who is making it difficult for them outside ?
All Men! Please take an honest call on this. Please respect the woman who has the courage to go out and face the world even when deep inside she has been devastated emotionally and tortured physically.
And Yes! Please stop trivialising the female body, stop sharing double meaning jokes. Stop churning out Sheelas, Munnis, Radhas, Razias......
It is neither fun nor entertainment any more.
Grinding, cleaning and cooking become so much more refreshing as I "sing them away" .....
It is therefore no wonder that humming comes to me naturally when I am in the kitchen.
This morning it was a 1972 song that gave me Kitchen-company .
This simple and sweet, has been very popular in its time. It is now apparently lost , but I am sure still it puts into words the dreams of every girl.
"Mere piya ka ghar hai ye , Raani hoon main, Raani hoon ghar ki...."
How comforting. And so ultimately romantic.
The house where I am no less than an Empress and where I rule, is my Paradise on this Planet.
And so it should be
Every woman's home to her should be no less than a Paradise on this Planet.
Then why do so many women and girls have to go out of their Kingdoms to slave and slog ?
This was not a lonely thought though.
It came with a stream of mind-boggling memories ... some recent, some old, but all entwiend into one another.
Silently and slowly Times change, circumstances and lifestyles also change as people transcend from one decade to another, from one Century to another .......
My mother used to teach in the school where my siblings and I studied. But after my sister's illness, which lasted some months, Mummy left the job. Though my sister got well eventually and went back to school, Mummy never went back to that or any other job. She did not need to go out of the house to work for a living .
My father earned enough to look after our needs and also often helped other needy people, of which I got to know only after I had grown up.
In college I heard friends talking of their future in a bank or some good corporate office.
"Future plans? Yeah ... I think I ll marry yaar "
"Oh! You stupid ... don't you plan for uncertainities ... and provide for them ... ???"
One friend retorted, banging her head with her palm, and giving up on me.
Fast forward to the present.
Everyone ... a girl or a boy ... seeks job-oriented education.
"What do you do?" is the first question one expects to face on meeting someone for the first time.
And so I found myself wondering if it is really so important for women to go out of the comfort and safety of a decent house and through all the grind of a ride in tiresome crowded public transport, most often under the prying eyes that measure all the statistics , although they may have nothing more than just a good heart within.
And when I sat by myself after lunch, I seem to have heard a female voice somewhere in the air telling me how she suffers the daily ordeal of tackling a drunk husband who has no fixed job.
This was my maid, who had now left her job at my place . Fed up of the daily beatings that she suffered at her husband's hands, she had gone back to her village.
Back to her parents place. What she was doing there I have no idea.
Another voice came through piercing my ears ........
"My mother-in-law says I've not brought enough dowry. She does not even let me stay in the house with my husband. And my husband is helpless ... he cannot defend me in front of his mother ... "
This was the woman who works for me these days.
She stays with her mother at the mercy of her brothers, and although the mother also works, these women have no power to spend the money they earn or to live a life they would like to within their means.
Then there were those two large eyes staring at me ...
They were indifferent to the world , but not to the pain in life ...
This brave woman was fighting it out with her own brother who had disowned their mother and slapped a legal case on her.
Middle class family.
Graduate ... or may be less ... I am not sure. After crying her heart out , she has now wiped out every trace of tears from her attractive face and went out of the house for the first time to seek a job.
She now works in a hospital .
And before I could do something about those eyes, there arose another face ... innocent, tormented and yet masking a lot of what the heart had gone through ......... this charming , young , well educated woman , has a good job , a good house , fashionable branded clothes and accessories ... and her own car too.
She is modern.
She had married the man of her choice. Very well-place family.
Very socially and religiously aware
She is going through a separation process ... I hate to call it divorce ...
She was informing me ...
"Nothing changes with women and girls. We all have the same life. Can you believe I'm not much different from your maids ... or that girl fighting a legal court case ... the only difference perhaps is that I can speak good English , I wear expensive clothes and I can afford a lot of the things that money can buy ...."
These are just four instances from among countless such unjust happenings around us.
I feel so distraught.
Women are being judged.
They are being told how to dress up in public
They are being given a list of "Do-s and Don't-s" ...
It is being implied that they stay at home. At the slightest pretext their characters come under the scanner.
But who has pushed them to the wall so much that that instead of getting suffocated and sqeezed they have pushed hard , turned around , found an open door and preferred to go out ...
Going out of their homes to seek peace.
Abandoning their "Kingdoms" and preferring "slavery" ...
Who took away their right to to live a decent life inside the four walls of their own home ? And who is making it difficult for them outside ?
All Men! Please take an honest call on this. Please respect the woman who has the courage to go out and face the world even when deep inside she has been devastated emotionally and tortured physically.
And Yes! Please stop trivialising the female body, stop sharing double meaning jokes. Stop churning out Sheelas, Munnis, Radhas, Razias......
It is neither fun nor entertainment any more.
