Ye unn dino ki baat hai ...

 Some nostalgia ... 💝

Hamaarey bachpaney meiN , native place Shahjahanpur meiN generally gharoN meiN phones nahi hua kartey thay 

There used to be messengers who would take paighaams / invitations etc written or verbal from one household to another 

This was in the 1960s 

Lekin hamare Nana ke ghar par phone tha jo hum ne kabhi bajtey nahi suna 

Waise bhi it was kept in the men's section of the Kothi so we only got a glimpse of it once in a while 

Mummy bataati thiiN ke Miyan's ( my Nana , we used to call him Miyan ) trusted personal assistant was in charge of answering the phone calls 

To jab ghanti bajti thi and he used to go to get it , he would always say "aatey haiN " like one would say when someone knocks on your door 

Lekin phone to bajta rehta tha 

To wo naraaz se ho jaatey thay and would say ...

"Keh to diya hai ke aa rahey haiN ... Lekin suntey nahi haiN ... Bajaaye jaa rahey haiN ghantiyaN ... "

Jashn e wilaadat e Nabi

 

It is believed that Prophet Mohammed was born on the 12th day of the Islamic month of Rabi ul Awwal 

And hence the Muslim khaandaans of Shahjahanpur , Aligarh , Allahabad and Lucknow , traditionally celebrate the life of the Prophet reciting poetry in his praise and in praise of Almighty Allah for the first twelve days of this month 

Aur shehroN meiN bhi hogi aisi pratha 

But I am speaking for the khaandaans that I know 

Even when we stayed in Tata Power Company’s residential colonies , Mummy would kinda lead the recitation and my father and we siblings would repeat after her 

None of us were ever trained in music or singing , and it used to a bit of solitary celebration as the six of us would rise respectfully to sing the “ salaam” in the large hall of our bungalow , but it was definitely a spiritually enriching experience

Prophet Mohammed , who the Muslims believe belonged to the clan of Prophet Ebrahim , and is the last , hence the most beloved of all prophets , was sent to this world as rehmat al lil aalamiin ( mercy for the universe ) 

While on this topic let me add a little more from the recent past 

Now for about a decade  that I ve been interacting with people on social media , I understand that it is confusing , and rightly so , for non muslims to find an Eid popping up every now and then 

Some time back , year or more ago , I had written a note about this on Facebook also 

Eid and Milad are Arabic words 

Eid means feast 

Milad is celebration of birthday 

I don't know in what all contexts Arabs use this word Milad , but in India and also Pakistan it is now being used to mean celebration of Prophet's birthday ( Milad un Nabi )

Eid e Milad un Nabi = Feast celebrating the birth of Prophet 

However bachpan se le kar jawaani tak  Shahjahanpur / Lucknow meiN Eid e Milaad nahi balki "bara-wafaat" suna kartey thay 

It is believed by Muslims that our Prophet was born on the 12th day of Islamic month Rabi ul Awwal and he died (unhoN ne wafaat paayi ) on the same date 

I remember Mummy often used to say why do we not celebrate the day as his birthday , why do we associate it with his wafaat ?

So ... people in far off Arabia seem to have heard her 😄😄😄 ... We now have Eid e Milad un Nabi 

She lived enough to see this change in her life 😄

So till a better one word expression is found , "Eid e Milad un Nabi" , "Jashn e wilaadat e Nabi" se kaam chalanaa padey ga 😊😊😊😊😊

May the light of compassion , empathy , peace and camaraderie that was lit by prophets before him, and that which he brightened shine in our hearts and guide us all to be better human beings 

Sharing a beautiful version of the salaam that we used to recite along with Mummy ... Rafi Saheb ki paakiizah awaaz ... Akbar Warsi Saheb ka kalaam ... 🙏🌹🌺🌷💐💝💝💝

https://youtu.be/8Fqows4r5wo

Ye Ishq-Ishq Hai

दस हज़ार वर्षो तक तप के बाद ...

पार्वती उस हठी को पा लेती है जिसे पाना ज़िद के बिना संभव नही। 

उस उदासीनता और मौन को तोड़ देती है जिसे तोड़ना ज़िद के बिना संभव नही।

करोड़ो वर्षो तक उस हठी के साथ रहने की हठ ...

कौन ऐसे तन को चाहेगा जो सर्प गर्दन पे लपेटे हो और मन फक्कड़ी में लगा हो ... 

लेकिन प्रेम यही तो है 

तन और मन से परे ...

प्रेम में हठी हो जाना तप ही तो है। 

(Courtesy फ़ायक इन मूड) 

copied from Swati Tiwari 

To zaraa bhi taa'jub ki baat nahi ke log naa jaane kitne barsoN se prem ke iss adbhut swaroop ko poojtey chaley aa rahey haiN ...

🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐

Aur ab zaraa inn ki suniye ... ye poojaari haiN ... Ek shikwa kar rahaa , to doosra samjha rahaa hai ... keh rahe haiN ...  

“ Meri darkhwaast radd ho gayi SaaiN ... shaaed meri iltijaa meiN hi koi kami reh gayi ho ... warna deney walaa to bahot सख़ी ( kindhearted / magnanimous / charitable ) tha ... “

“Shaaed uss ki sakhaawat kisi aur ke liye ho ... kisi aur ke muqaddar meiN ho uss ki dariyadili ... “

“Kisi aur ka muqaddar ... ? “

“ Haan ... Mehboob auroN par meherbaan aur aashiq pe sitamgar hota hai ... aur aashiq umar bhar issi gumaan meiN reh jataa hai ke mehboob ki mehbubiyat sirf ussi ke muqaddar meiN hai “

“ Aap ko dekh kar ehsaas hota hai ke aap khud ek shadeed mohabbat ki aziyat se guzar chukey haiN ... warna kisi anjaan ko mohabbat ka aisa idraak kahaaN mila ... “

Copied from You Tube 

🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐

Aur ye ... 

insaan ki aarzooN - ChahatoN - ibaadatoN ki tamaam bechaainiyoN ko samet-ti hui Sahir ki ek line ... 

"Mann re tu kaahey naa dheer dharey ... "

🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐

Mohabbat har roop meiN insaan ko Khuda se rubaru karaati hai 

Wo kul Kaayanaat ka Maalik ...

Mohabbat meiN hi to nazar ataa hai 

Uss ki talaash wo kartey haiN jin ke dil mohabbat se naa-aashna hotey haiN 

Warna sach to ye hai ke ... 

"Dil ke ā.īne meiñ hai tasvīr-e-yāar 

jab zarā gardan jhukāa.ī dekh lī ... "

🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐🎊💝💐

And then there's the ultimate from Sahir Ludhianvi ... 

" Allah aur rasool ka farman ishq hai

yani hadiis ishq hai , Quran ishq hai

Gautum ka aur Masih ka arman ishq hai

ye kaaynaat jism hai aur jaan ishq hai

ishq sarmad ishq hi mansur hai

ishq Musa , ishq koh e tuur hai 

Khaak ko buut

Aur buut ko devta karta hai ishq

Inteha ye hai ke 

bande ko Khuda karta hai ishq ... "

Sahir Lazawaal 💝

 Badi khushi hoti hai ye dekh kar ke Sahir Ludhianvi ko unn ki centenary year meiN itni mohabbat aur respect ke saath yaad karaa jaa rahaa hai 

 

Unn ke geet , unn ki love life , unn ki arrogance ... unn ki position of power when he could dictate his terms to producers / directors ... aur bhi bahot kuchh ... 

Like jis ko jitnaa yaad hai , aur jaisa yaad hai , wo sunaa rahaa hai 

All this is very interesting 

But I have a feeling ke kaafi saari baateiN word of mouth se hi phaili hoNgi and there is every possibility that ab jo kuchh hum tak pahoNch rahaa hai wo sab sach naa ho

Except for Javed Akhter I dont think anyone who speaks about Sahir Ludhianvi really knows him 

Like that video which came God knows from where and went viral on social media !!!

The voice and kalaam was apparently Sahir Ludhianvi's 

Batayaa gayaa ke ye "Main zindgi ka saath nibhata chalaa gayaa ... " ke unrecorded stanzas haiN

Then came Javed Saheb's tweet saying ke naa voice Sahir Ludhianvi ki hai aur naa hi wo poetry unn ki hai 

Tab phir kuchh chhaan-phatak kari gayi aur pataa ye chalaa ke Jaidev ji ki awaaz meiN ye kalaam Abdul Hameed Adam Saheb ka hai

So I ll skip the stories about his life and instead share the impact that his writing has had on my life

I strongly believe that Sahir Ludhianvi has now transcended beyond being a man or a poet / lyricist 

He is now a philosophy and a mindset ...  

And I discovered this mindset called Sahir much later in life when I read his anti war poetry on Facebook 

Ek aisi duniya jahaaN taaqat ka matlab show of muscle power hai , jahaaN har masaley ka solution violence and war batayaa jataa hai , wahaaN Sahir keh rahey haiN ke jung to khud hi ek masala hai bhai , ye masloN ka hal kya degi 

When I read Sahir's poetry I realized ke iss aadmi ka dil sirf insaaniyat ke liye dhadakta tha ... Unn ka maan-na tha ke har mazhab ka Khuda apney bandoN se ek hi baat keh rahaa hai ... ke bhaiyya insaan bann jaao ... 

Sahir ne ye msg apney ek geet meiN kuchh aisey dia hai :

" Tu Hindu baney ga naa Musalmaan baney ga insaan ki aulaad hai insaan baney ga " 

Also reminding his readers ... 

" Har ek daur kā maz.hab nayā ḳhudā laayā 

kareñ to ham bhī , magar kis ḳhudā kī baat kareñ"

And who forget the song "Sansaar se bhaagey phirtey ho ... " which is among the most honest and bebaak description of the humiliation of insaaniyat in the name of religion  

If his song "Aurat ne janam diya mardoN ko ... " shocked and frustrated my conscience , then there was " Wo subah kabhi to aaye gi ... " jahaaN Sahir hazaaroN mehnat-kash logoN ke khwaaboN ki tabiireiN talaash kar rahey thay 

When I heard "Dekh tere Bhagwaan ki haalat kya ho insaan ... " I was speechless for a while 

How could anyone be so blatantly and truthfully straight forward 

But then everyone is not Sahir Ludhianvi !!!

Sahir ki ek aur baat mujhe badi pyaari lagti hai

Jaisa ke Bhagvad Geeta meiN bhi kahaa gayaa hai ke karam kiye jaa , phal ki chinta mat kar , ussi andaaz meiN Sahir ne likha ... 

" Manaa ke iss zamiiN ko naa gulzaar kar sakey

Kuchh khaar kam to kar gaye guzrey jidhar se hum " 

Interestingly Sahir Ludhianvi ne apni shaaeri ke collection ki kitaab jab chhapvaai to uss ka naam “ TalkhiyaN “ rakha , lekin unn ki zindgi ki talkhiyoN ne uNheiN naa to revengeful banayaa ,  aur hi unhoN ne apne dil meiN nafratoN ko jagah di 

In fact unhoN ne to nafratoN ki duniya meiN pyaar ki bastiyaN basaaney baat kari hai 

He developed an intense courage to stand up for all the underprivileged people , and gave words to their dreams and aspirations 

“ ab koi gulshan naa ujdey ab watan azaad hai “ 

and 

" Aao ke koi khwaab buneiN kal ke waastey ... " 

Also earnest prayers for world peace 

“ Teri hai zamiin tera aasmaan tu badaa meherbaan tu bakhshish kar ... “

" Khuda e bartar teri zamiiN par zamiiN ki khaatir ye jung kyoN hai ... "

Ya phir ye ke “ Sab ko sanmati de Bhagwaan ... “ and "Balwaano ko de de gyaan ... "

Incidentally the first song I shared on Facebook was "Aap ki mehki hui zulf ko kehtey haiN ghataa ... " 

And from there began my journey of discovering Sahir Ludhianvi , the philosophy , the cult ... 

So geet unn ke mujhe bahot pehlay radio par mil gaye thay lekin Sahir mujhe dus saal pehley hi miley Facebook par

The songs that come to mind immediately when I think of the radio days from my childhood are 

"Mera sunder sapna ... " 

and 

" hum aap ki aankhon meiN iss dil ko basaa deiN to ... " 

So Sahir aur Geeta Dutt se ek lamba aur gehra nataa hai hamaraa 😊😊😊

I find this immensely fascinating that a man who has left nothing but his writings behind him is being celebrated and remembered by almost all sections of the society including people jinki zubaan Urdu yaa Hindi nahi bhi hai 

It is now upto us to introduce Sahir Ludhianvi's poetry to our children because that will be our best tribute to the man who has proved beyond doubt that there are few like him on this planet and even after more than sixty / seventy years or so , his writings continue to inspire and encourage human rights and anti war activists , and supporters of peace in homes and among communities and countries 

Koi to baat hogi jo har koi ek tukda Sahir ka apney hissey meiN kar lena chaahta hai ... Sahir beshak keh gaye hoN ke " maiN pal do pal ka shaaer hooN ... "  ... Lekin unhoN ne poorey tariiqe se ye ensure kar liya hai he will be remembered as " har ek pal ka shaaer ... "

Sahir lives on , and my journey , discovering him through his writings also continues ...

Tributes to Abbi

MushkileiN to hamaarey parents ke time meiN bhi thiiN , aur unn se pehlay waali generation bhi koi perfect duniya meiN nahi ji rahey thay

Lekin unhoN ne apne kirdaar ki taaqat aur imaandaari ke saath hum ko zindgi ki khoobsoorti dikhaai 

Mohabbat ki zubaan sikhaayi 

Chhoti chhoti khushiyoN ki ahmiyat samjhaayi  

Ghar ki Maa-betiyoN-bahuoN ke dupattey chaahey jitney bhi lehraaeiN lekin sarkeiN kabhi nahi 

Zubaan meiN har waqt mithaas naa ho koi baat nahi lekin tehziib ki kami kabhi naa aaney paaye 

School / College meiN hum ne kuchh bhi padha ho ... lekin hum ko shaaeri , mausiqui , literature se rubaru hamaarey parents ne karayaa ... they made sure we value and contribute to the beautiful composite culture of our country 

Aaj ke iss kadvey-kasailey daur meiN to aur bhi zaroori ho jataa hai ke hum apne bachchoN ki shanasaai life ke inn khoobsoorat raNgon se karaaeiN jo hum ko viraasat meiN apne waaldain se miley haiN 

That's the best tribute we can offer to our parents , remembering my father on his birth(day) anniversary , and among so many memories , I ll share one when he made me feel very special and loved as he gifted me a Bush transistor for passing my class five exam with good marks

Some more memories ... 

A day before the world will celebrate Father's Day , I am celebrating my late father ... wishing him a very happy birthday ... 🎂🎂🎂

Kuchh yaadeiN tazaa kar leiN ... 💐💐💐

In July 2017 we had gone to Bhivpuri , a beautiful lush green place near Karjat , where my father was posted many years back 

The 2017 visit was mainly to enjoy the mountains and the rain , and also experience the gushing flow of water on our bodies sitting under the breathtaking waterfalls that spring up in the quiet of the jungle during monsoon 

As we set out , we noticed a dog tagging along 

He had appeared as if from nowhere 

And stayed with us through the entire outing , disappearing as "magically" (as it had appeared ) when we reached the guest house where we were staying 

Reminds me of a dog that used to follow my father like an escort from one end of Bhivpuri Tata Camp where our house was , to the extreme other end , may be a kilometer or so away , where the Hydro Electricity Generating Power House was :-)

This dog was not our pet 

It had come on its own 

And it never missed a single day escorting my father ( from home to work and work to home )

Heart warming Memories of another Era 

😊😊😊💝💝💝😘😘😘😘😘

When Father's Day coincided with Abbi's birth anniversary ... 

Deepest respects and Salaam to our fathers , who may have lacked in expressing the measure of their love for us , and often seemed harsh and angry with us .... but, that was their extreme love for us and their concern for our well being ... 

They worked hard not just to give us a comfortable life , but also to show us through their deeds and actions the right way to a better living ... 

We enjoyed a carefree childhood because they were around to take care of everything we needed ....

 

Chalo Ek Baar Phir Se ...

With a few exceptions who can move from pain to happiness on their own , most people have this intense urge to pour out the bitter repercussions of an anguished experience , so sharing agony and distress with a genuine well wisher is neither weakness nor abnormal.

The winning , and also the tricky point however is that this outpour of bitterness must not create more bitterness 

This is easier said than done 

I was deeply touched when I saw the documentary " Soz: Ballad of Maladies " 

Among other things , the documentary introduced it's viewers to the youth in the terror-torn Kashmir Valley who have turned to writing poetry in a bid to bury the deep anguish of a painful past and also as a means to deal with an unjust present

Also there is Sahir Ludhianvi whose birth centenary is being celebrated this year ...

Incidentally his mother belonged to Kashmir 

Most of his poetry is a narration of his life's anxieties and suffering 

He saw and understood through his own struggle the deprivation of others and poured out his compassion , sympathy and empathy for all the oppressed people through his timeless poetry that is remembered and discussed even today 

" Chalo ek baar phir se ajnabi bann jaaeiN hum dono ... " has become one of the most iconic and timeless pieces of Urdu poetry that has ever been written

The thought expressed in words is so matchless that it seems like once-in-a-lifetime kind of writing  

Its uniqueness never ceases to amaze even the best of writers and it has been among one of the most loved , listened and discussed Hindi film songs 

It was actually not written for a film situation but used most appropriately in the film "Gumraah" by Chopra Saheb 

And the rest is history 

Sahir Ludhianvi's words set to music by Ravi and sung by Mahendra Kapoor , this is a masterpiece that sinks in gradually as Kapoor Saheb brings the words to life with a depth that is engrossing and overpowering , delicately untangling a multi layered tapestry of human feelings , and as you listen , the magical play of emotions engulfs you completely 

How does one go about becoming a complete stranger to someone with whom they have shared life's most beautiful moments ?

Don't we deliberately cling on to memories 

And who can ignore the fact that the most touching poetry is most definitely made from memories that are precious and closest to one's heart

Hence this song stands out in its uniqueness.
The poet apparently is comfortable in choosing to let go of a loved one with whom he cannot carry on any further.

But hold on.
He is moving on , and although well wishers might advice him to "forget the past " he is not doing anything like that ...

In fact he is taking along with him a bagful of memories too endearingly deep-seated to just let them go ...

And seemingly this baggage is neither burdensome nor tiresome
So he casually and yet so profoundly remarks :

"Wo afsana jisey anjaam tak lanaa naa ho mumkin

Ussey ek khoobsoorat mod de kar chhodna achcha ... "

Moving on is apparently a part of one's existence.
Indeed and truly so.
But Come to think of it , how much inner turmoil must one undergo before finally accepting life as it comes.
" Ta'aruf rog bann jaaye to uss ko bhoolna behtar

Ta'aluq bojh bann jaaye to uss ko toddna achcha ... "

And so if life must go on in separate compartments for two people who once travelled intimately together , can there be another better option than the one provided by Sahir Ludhianvi ?

"Naa maiN tum se koi ummid rakkhooN dil nawaazi ki

Naa tum meri taraf dekho ghalat andaaz nazroN se ... "

It is a feeling of profound peace and contentment that comes after you have unraveled the layers of a relationship and discovered the truth 

You have shed the old skin .....

Now you are clothed with a much better resolve and determination.

So what if ...

"Mere hamraah bhi rusvaaiyaN haiN mere maazi ki

Tumhaarey saath bhi guzri hui raatoN ke saaye haiN "

You have learned to deal with it all without hurting yourself or anyone else 

"Naa mere dil ki dhadkan ladkhadaaye meri baatoN meiN 

Naa zaahir ho tumhaari kashmakash ka raaz nazroN se "

You are now better prepared for a happier and more enriching journey ... 

So 

Chalo ek baar phir se ... 😊

Meri Amma ka Paandaan

In my native place , Shahjahanpur , Muslim Khaandaans are into paan culture big time 

Even now , although colas have replaced sherbats and biscuits have replaced home made snacks , paan and chaai have no alternatives 

Paandaan , khaasdaan and giloris have been around for as far back as I can remember 

In Tata residential colonies too , where we used to stay , I remember these things were part of our home 

When my father went to Iran on a TCS project , we used to visit him there in our summer holidays 

And Mummy being a paan addict would carry all the ingredients and a good fat bundle of fresh green paans hoping them to last through the holidays 

Sometimes her supply would run out and then she would make use of any damn edible leaf !!!

My father , though not an addict , enjoyed one proper gilori after lunch 

As I am writing , so many images from an era gone by are popping up longingly in front of my eyes ... 

My naani making the giloris for my nanaa's guests , placing them in a silver tray and sending them to my Nana's sitting area downstairs 

My sister's mother-in-law cutting the betelnut in fine and tiny bits with amazing precision , and kabaab khaaeiN naa khaaeiN , for us paan is a must eat at her place   

Paan koi bhi haq samajh kar maaNg leta tha , be it anyone , I remember this line "Bibi paan khilaao naa" often at my Daadi's place 

As far as I can remember Paan was a must in every Muslim household in Shahjahanpur 

Giving a paandaan and khaasdaan to the daughter when she got married was as important as gifting the sewing machine 😊😊😊

But my parents didn't give me paandaan 

My in-laws and husband were no paan fans 

So no one missed a paandaan ever

A little over a decade after my marriage , Hatchya Begum was shifting to Kanpur from Allahabad 

She gifted me her paandaan ( that you see in the pics ) adding a heart touching line : 

" Hamaarey zamaaney meiN betiyoN ko jahez meiN paandaan diya jataa tha ... Tum ko nahi mila tha ... To ye tum rakh lo " 

Heart warming and goose bumpy memories stroll along as you take your life's journey ... bringing sometimes a smile ... sometimes a tear 💝

Some reason ... Honestly no reason ... I gifted Hatchya Begum's Paandaan to my Mom , who had been using my Daadi's paandaan till then ... !!!!!!

And now after my parents passed away this paandaan has come back to me and is kept in my living room along with my Dada's paanoN ki dibiya ( a small box of brass in which my Dada used to carry his paans when he went to court ) 

Till my parents lived I could always have a paan any time I wanted 

Khaair jahaaN bhi haiN 28th Feb ko khushi-khushi celebrate kariye ga 

I miss paans a lot specially after a sumptuous dinner 😊

Happy Anniversary my dear - darling Parents

May your souls be blessed 

💖💖💖

May your blessings for us and our children never end and may we live a life of your dreams  

And may our children happily live the lives that we dream for them 

😊😊😊

Abusive Relationship: A different perspective

"Signs of an abusive relationship :

1) Plays tricks to “test” the relationship 

2) Claims that they hurt you because they love you 

3) Demands you do as they say without question

4) If you think or behave in way that they disapprove they threaten you with harm 

5) Isolate you from anyone who disagrees

6) Tells you this is what true love is 

7) Blames you for their shortcomings 

This is a fwd from a friend that stirred the cells in my brain 

Come to think of it , astonishingly enough many times such an abusive relationship exists between parents and their children !!!

The concept of free thought and liberated mind is ironically a dinosaur that exists in our imagination , but is extinct in reality 

Incidentally I am watching an Urdu television serial these days which is basically a story of two sisters

The elder one is obedient , kind and caring 

The younger one is a free thinking , playful and immature girl 

They are in love with two different boys 

And there's a third boy who is in love with the younger sister 

While the two girls are still contemplating how to break their love stories to their parents , this third boy comes with a marriage proposal ( how he manages to do that is a separate story ) and the marriage is fixed 

But the girl is obviously not happy with this decision , cannot speak her heart's desire before her parents , confides in her elder sibling , who advices her to keep quiet and accept the parent's decision as the will of God 

However on the wedding day this girl elopes with her boy friend leaving the parents red-faced ... !!!

But the boy's mother does some uncompassionate quick-thinking , and declares that to save the honour of the family she cannot go back home without the bride and so her son must get married then and there 

The elder sister is made the scapegoat 

She sacrifices her love to satisfy an empty headed woman's ego , who in spite of being educated and apparently level headed thus far , doesn't even think twice before ruining her own son's happiness 

What happens next as the story unfolds is another matter 

But the point is such a decision coming from a modern sophisticated woman would be considered whimsical had it not been instrumental in damaging the lives of the young unsuspecting people who were hit as if by the lightening from out of the blue 

So in this case such a decision was no short of being insensitive , selfish and even sinful 

Also another point that comes to mind is why did the girl not feel secure enough to discuss her love life with her own parents 

Why did she choose to elope , when ideally in a cordial parent-child relationship , she should have invited her boy friend home and introduced him to her parents ... 

It is the parent's responsibility to make their children comfortable and confident in their home so that they are not scared to talk with their elders 

So like I said somewhere above , does this kind of parental behaviour , as happens in the serial , and which certainly is a reflection of the societal behaviour in our sub continent , not amount to an abusive relationship , between the unlikeliest of people , where elders resort to something akin to emotional blackmail under whatever pretext

And the victims are their own children who love them so much that they innocently fall prey to the ruthless tactics of their parents ?

Perhaps this is precisely the message being conveyed through the story 

Be under no illusions 

This is plain and selfish blackmail and has absolutely no backing from God , but yeah ... Religious leaders may justify the cruelty ... again under whatever pretext ... After all its not about their life , their children ... And more than that their egoistic self righteousness pitiably forbids them to entertain anything on humanitarian grounds !!!