Saturday, October 10, 2009

"Love Aaj Kal" Or "Kal Aaj Aur Kal"...Oh! Whatever...

The fruit of technology and science was never so much within common man's reach as it is now. But with reports of not just possible, but proved misuse of technology, fears of parents over the marathon conversations on mobile phones and long hours spent on the net by the youth these days cannot be completely misplaced. In fact families today, although supposedly living under one roof, have apparently drifted apart, although quite unknowingly, but so much so that to get all the three or four members in a family to at least one meal together in a day is a herculean, if not an entirely impossible task. In such a scenario Mother Teresa's Saying that a family that eats together stays together can as well be laid to rest alongside that noble soul who said so.

Its not only the youth who spend time away from the family, even the smaller children are so much into watching cartoon films and so called entertainment channels for children (which is many times as good as any adult stuff) that afternoon stories of the granny or the family prayer before going to bed has become a fable of sorts. So how does the concerned modern mother inculcate "good habits" in her children? How does she even communicate with her off-spings, who had not so long ago taken their first hesitant step with her help and mumbled their first syllable after her much painstaking effort, and not to mention the patience and tact that went into teaching them to button their shirts, tie their shoe laces or hold their tooth brushes and spoons right.

While it is the most cherished pleasure of a mother to be a part the growing up of her children, these days women professionals with their dual responsibilities have to sacrifice a good deal of this immensely gratifying experience; the children usually being looked after by a maid or a grand-parent. In such cases it becomes extremely difficult to keep a check on what goes on behind the back. Although there is much love among the family members and they care for one another, there are pressures in a life that has of late become excessively demanding. However there is a small minority of females who have chosen the luxury of being the seemingly insignificant home-makers. They certainly have better options of knowing the path their children are treading. Or so they like to think, a la Bollywood moms who know everything that crosses their children's minds!

My friends and I often discuss the changes that time brings with it as one phase of life transcends giving way to another making one apprehensive and anxious of what the unknown future holds. Most of my friends are career-women and already have a good understanding of the latest technology. Often they made up for their physical absence from their children's lives by gifting their children expensive electronic games and gadgets.

For me however it was a little different. I could sense the growing distance and silence between my children and me as the children became more independent and I had chosen to be the "insignificant home-maker"!
Was this the generation gap I had heard my elders speak about when I was young?
History was surely repeating itself. This was comforting thought because I suddenly realised that my mother must have felt the same. I remembered how she would take interest in the little things that mattered to us.

That is when I thought of hitting the net and finding out for myself what the world had been upto while I was busy raising kids and looking after the house. And what a magical experience it was: the world at my finger tips literally! It instantly brought me close to my children as they worked hard to instill in me a sense of confidence to help me make the best of my new-found abilities. Although my children and I are strong individuals with our independent thought processes, we now have a lot of things in common and I am no more fearful of Orkut and Facebook being the devils out to devour our culture and ethics like the devastating locust.

My generation is diligently building bridges between an older generation that is uneasy at the youth saying "hi" and "bye" insted of a respectful bow of the head before their elders, and a youth filled with ideas of equality that translate into them calling their mother's friend by her first name instead of "masi" or "aunty". It is an effort worth every minute spent on it because if there is an understanding and possible amalgamation of the better traits from both these diverse groups of the old and the young, that is to say between science/technology on the one hand and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group on the other, one can have the world one has forever dreamed.


Zohra Javed

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