Her assemblage of perfumes and lipsticks , and the way she cherished each piece was incredible
Her botanical knowledge had the best of horticulturists looking up to her.
Her expertise in house-keeping could bring insecurity to the biggest names in the profession.
She was meticulous, systematic and thoroughly devoted to her femininity.
She was Hatchya Begum.
I met Hatchya Begum when she was in her mid-sixties.
In my heavily laden treasure of memories the picture of my first meeting with this sparkling bundle of femininity is enlivening and fresh like the morning dew on rose petals.
It was in the winter of 1983.
After Christmas and before New Year.
The most festive period in the whole world ... 🎊🎁💐💐💐
And very special for me as I had just been married 💝💝💝
Hatchya Begum came to meet me as I was recovering from a spell of severe cold and fever.
Interestingly my feminine instincts were intact inspite of the fever 😊
I still remember she was wearing a sober green embroidered sari and a matching long sweater , she was so full of affection and warmth , her fair complexion glowed in the mild winter sun rays sifting through the spotless glass windows , while her strawberry-red lipstick set her lips on fire.
She was elegance personified as her presence filled the room abundantly with the fragrance of her imported perfume.
Her long jhumkas studded with emeralds and the matching neck-piece was perhaps a heirloom 😊
A small clove-like gold ornament adorned her nose and her large eyes looked at me from behind the clear glasses set in a golden frame, perched gracefully on her nose.
I was informed that she lived next door and our houses had a common wall running through the courtyard.
She was to become my closest and most affectionate sympathiser in the years to come as her constrained longing for my well being became very evident with the passage of time.
She gave me useful tips to ease the process of settling down in a completely new environment after marriage.
Her advice / suggestions to me on housekeeping , cooking and even carrying myself according to place and occasion came with amazing tact that they seemed like casual notings .
She invariably satisfied my ego showering me with praises , specially if some guests were around.
Her husband, a retired officer of the government of India , a thoroughly devoted educationist was respected by everyone for his professional expertise and honesty.
Even after his retirement , he kept himself involved in issues related to education , that was his passion as he worked till his last breath for the cause of women's education and emancipation .
His command over Urdu and English was impeccable , so much so that he often guided local writers in their work.
He was also instrumental in making many a rich and spoilt brats in town become decent and successful householders excelling in business and personal affairs alike.
Marrying such a remarkable man , who solved problems as if they were playthings , was perhaps the best thing that happened to Hatchya Begum.
While he allowed her the freedom to grow as an individual , he was always there for her , looking after her as if she was an infirm child.
By the time I met them , they had attained an enviable completeness and strength in their relationship that was not captive to its culmination into their parenthood.
Their marriage seemed so profoundly blissful and they were so intensely in love with each other that their togetherness truly defined what a marriage should really be like.
Is it easy to have such a fulfilling bond of fondness ?
Certainly not.
Hatchya Begum and her husband must have built the world they lived in with loads of patience , maturity and trust shared over the years
Surely their efforts were well rewarded 😊
She loved shopping , he liked to earn enough for her to spend.
He had a passion for food , she saw to it that every meal on their dining table turned out to be a feast.
He fussed over her smallest requirement.
She bought for him lovely gifts.
Being with Hatchya Begum was always a wonderful experience.
Her contentment with her own self oozed out like a soothing balm and she spread a sense of cheer all around her.
One of her greatest attributes was that she never spoke ill of anyone. In fact I have this very firm belief that she avoided speaking about people who had made her unhappy or those whom she did not like.
She talked (often repeating herself many times over) about the joyous experiences with family, friends, and even servants, animals and plants that had brought her pleasure.
She could go on talking profusely about the various species of flowering shrubs, ways of cooking fish in unusual spice combination or doing extraordinary patterns in knitting and crochet, but one hardly ever caught her back-biting 😘
Be it dinners, lunches, mendhi ceremonies, marriage celebration, birthday parties, "milad" gatherings or any other event , there was not an invitation that she did not honour.
From the most powerful and richest in town to the modest and poorest , whoever conferred upon her the distinction of being lovable and special, she returned the gesture with equal graciousness.
Tell her a secret and it got buried deep inside her, like a coral in the deep sea bed. While you unburdened yourself, you also had the satisfaction that your secret was safe with her !
Hatchya Begum was like Spring Time : full of youthful energy , so much in love with life , so warm and vibrant.
She made trivialities seem special and important.
It was this quality that endeared her to many.
She never missed an opportunity to be happy And as I look back I think her strongest trait was that she loved whatever she did.
The elaborate arrangement that went in to planning an important journey , or preparing for the day ahead over a cup of tea in the verandah after a refreshing morning walk were equally important and enjoyable for her.
She celebrated every moment that she lived.
Too good to be true?
Yeah ... one might think so.
After all perfection is the virtue of God.
But Hatchya Begum was a mortal human being. So she was not perfect too.
She had her share of shortcomings.
I have read this somewhere :
"The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness".
And if this be true, then Hatchya Begum's greatest shortcoming was her total lack of confidence in living life all by herself.
She feared loneliness.
She was devastated after the death of her husband and for a couple of weeks it seemed like she was making an effort to breathe in the suffocating vaccum that had come into her life
She however displayed astonishing fortitude and surprised everyone by gradually and gracefully coming to terms with the most tragic reality of her life
She did not break down while taking the most painful decision of her life : to leave the house that she had shared with her husband and move to another city to live with her nephew and his family.
One by one she started sorting out things that she and her husband had held close to heart like one would hold their child close to bossom over more than fifty long years making a home for themselves
Much of these possessions had to be discarded
Each time she gave one of her cherished treasure to someone , she seemed to grow emotionally stronger and move one step forward in learning to live without the protective sheild of her husband's love ...
For a long time after she left , her house remained unoccupied. But then we got new neighbours. A young couple with two small children.
The place came to life once again, but never quite get back the enthusiasm , fun and merriment it had seen when the aged and childless Hatchya Begum and her husband had occupied it.
It was wonderful to have her stay with us during her last visit to Allahabad
By some sheer coincidence it was around the same time that I had met her the first time.
A lot had changed since then.
Hatchya Begum had had three fractures in both her legs, her eyes and ears were not as sharp as they used to be.
Age had weakened her body, but her spirit to remain happpy was still like a gushing mountain stream.
She loved life and so she loved people too.
In return people loved her.
Hatchya Begum had another uniquely gratifying quality too. She liked to bring people together and let new friendships blossom.
There was a stream of all sorts of people visiting her everyday
So there were some beautiful reunions too 😊😊😊
Hatchya Begum always seemed at peace with herself. Yet by quite a queer paradox she also seemed to be searching something constantly.
Deep inside she was vulnerable with a heart that broke easily
But I never asked about her unfulfilled desires because for me she was a most splendid celebration of womanhood in its enterity .
Absolutely charming and as enchantingly unique as her name , she has made a special and unwavering place for herself in our hearts 💐💐💐
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