Some memories are strangely precious because even in the pain that they cause
they are dear to us.
we just can't let them go as they are our last and only link with some of the most loved persons whom we will never see again.
Time is forever on the move....or so they say....
But we ceaselessly attempt to hold some moments close to our heart.
Frozen in time, they give us warmth whenever we go back to them.
Parents are one's best support in difficult times. They fight with the whole world resiliently for their children and never ever complain of the injury it causes to their soul. My parents too stood behind me like a rock, not bothering what the world was saying after my husband expired prematurely.
My father even left his prestigious overseas assignments with TCS to come and stay in Allahabad and help me look after my late husband's business after his relatives turned hostile and the business was into a huge debt....
Those were terribly tough times....my children in classes four and eight ....and my in-laws ready to take me and my minor children to court (which they eventually did) over my husband's assets.
My father suffered his first heart problem there.... one of the best cardiologist in Lucknow examined him.... prescribed some tests , which he did not bother to undergo....naturally thinking that his health problems were related to situational stress and age, and that it could not be anything serious.
"These specialist have a habit of making a mountain out of an ant-hill" he would say.
Later after much of the ordeal was over and we had just shifted to Mumbai, he had to be hospitalised. The doctors informed us that his heart was failing.
It left the family utterly shocked, but everyone knew of his fighting spirit.
It had been his destiny to take the path less-travelled . Even professionally he had been forever entrusted with responsibilities that others, much senior to him would not touch. But God had gifted him with a wonderful smile, that came from his innocent heart, and he always succeeded in winning his toughest adversary.
But this time he was up against the strongest adversary that there could be.
Destiny itself.
Gradually his condition deteriorated. Yet none of us ever imagined he was going away.....
Till the end it was like "he'll be ok", he has been always so strong, has been there for everyone , family members knew he was the dependable one.....
But he had to hospitalised a second time. And this time too he came back home although not very strong, but fairly well.
Then he started moving about slowly, sitting on the sofa or in the chair listlessly. Then the movements began to stop. He seemed to be at peace lying in bed, not wanting much....at times he seemed too lethargic even to get up for food. And then his voice began to choke.
But all this never for a moment prepared us for his end.
We took him to the hospital, confident once again of his astounding will power .
So muchh so that when the attending doctor in the ICU called me in to inform that the ventilator is not helping and its only a matter of some minutes now, I just stared in her face blankly .... dazed and numb....not believeing her even for a second, I started arguing with the doctor trying hard to prove her wrong....!!!
I still remember my dearest father's face....his seemingly "comfortable" posture .... that subtle hint of acknowledgement as I greeted him that last time.........I'm not sure if he was trying to say something....but yes! his eyes, very wide and unblinking had a lot of concern in them.....concern for the unresolved issues of my life, concern for my children's future.......
He still had so much to do.....but he was going away.......
Prematurely indeed !!!!!
It was so completely impossible for me to believe that I was seeing him for the last time.........
My husband's death had devastated my children and me. But my parents' support and sacrifice had seen us through those shattering times.....
Now life for us was changing again....... it really is never the same .....how can it ever be............ time is always on the move......and so is life......
But some moments never pass.
we just can't let them go as they are our last and only link with some of the most loved persons whom we will never see again.
Time is forever on the move....or so they say....
But we ceaselessly attempt to hold some moments close to our heart.
Frozen in time, they give us warmth whenever we go back to them.
Parents are one's best support in difficult times. They fight with the whole world resiliently for their children and never ever complain of the injury it causes to their soul. My parents too stood behind me like a rock, not bothering what the world was saying after my husband expired prematurely.
My father even left his prestigious overseas assignments with TCS to come and stay in Allahabad and help me look after my late husband's business after his relatives turned hostile and the business was into a huge debt....
Those were terribly tough times....my children in classes four and eight ....and my in-laws ready to take me and my minor children to court (which they eventually did) over my husband's assets.
My father suffered his first heart problem there.... one of the best cardiologist in Lucknow examined him.... prescribed some tests , which he did not bother to undergo....naturally thinking that his health problems were related to situational stress and age, and that it could not be anything serious.
"These specialist have a habit of making a mountain out of an ant-hill" he would say.
Later after much of the ordeal was over and we had just shifted to Mumbai, he had to be hospitalised. The doctors informed us that his heart was failing.
It left the family utterly shocked, but everyone knew of his fighting spirit.
It had been his destiny to take the path less-travelled . Even professionally he had been forever entrusted with responsibilities that others, much senior to him would not touch. But God had gifted him with a wonderful smile, that came from his innocent heart, and he always succeeded in winning his toughest adversary.
But this time he was up against the strongest adversary that there could be.
Destiny itself.
Gradually his condition deteriorated. Yet none of us ever imagined he was going away.....
Till the end it was like "he'll be ok", he has been always so strong, has been there for everyone , family members knew he was the dependable one.....
But he had to hospitalised a second time. And this time too he came back home although not very strong, but fairly well.
Then he started moving about slowly, sitting on the sofa or in the chair listlessly. Then the movements began to stop. He seemed to be at peace lying in bed, not wanting much....at times he seemed too lethargic even to get up for food. And then his voice began to choke.
But all this never for a moment prepared us for his end.
We took him to the hospital, confident once again of his astounding will power .
So muchh so that when the attending doctor in the ICU called me in to inform that the ventilator is not helping and its only a matter of some minutes now, I just stared in her face blankly .... dazed and numb....not believeing her even for a second, I started arguing with the doctor trying hard to prove her wrong....!!!
I still remember my dearest father's face....his seemingly "comfortable" posture .... that subtle hint of acknowledgement as I greeted him that last time.........I'm not sure if he was trying to say something....but yes! his eyes, very wide and unblinking had a lot of concern in them.....concern for the unresolved issues of my life, concern for my children's future.......
He still had so much to do.....but he was going away.......
Prematurely indeed !!!!!
It was so completely impossible for me to believe that I was seeing him for the last time.........
My husband's death had devastated my children and me. But my parents' support and sacrifice had seen us through those shattering times.....
Now life for us was changing again....... it really is never the same .....how can it ever be............ time is always on the move......and so is life......
But some moments never pass.
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