Friday, June 21, 2013

Allah Ka Shukr Hai

"Allah Ka Shukr hai"
The doctor  said with a wide  smile the moment he looked at my mother.

We had taken her for a follow up examination  after about a week of her return from the hospital. She had suffered  two heart attacks in less than two months.

As he began examining her , the doctor began to  casually chat with us  , informing us that  even when Mummy was in the Cardiac Care Unit of the hospital , with so many tubes and monitors  attached to her body  she would never speak of any discomfort.
Every time  he asked her :
"How are you feeling?"
Mummy always replied :
"Allah ka shukr hai.... "

Indeed that is how Mummy is . Always thankful to God for whatever He has blessed her with.
She keeps telling us that those who don't trust God in the true sense fall prey to worldly tensions.

At 77 years , it is hardly any wonder that her face is a collage of emotions .
And that intricate network of broken lines on her face ..... they aare not wrinkles ........ they are stories written by God
I often wonder how many storms lie beneath this deep serene ocean .....

Even the oceans flare up at times and send back ravaging tsunami , but my mother's heart is immeaurably huge and accomodating it seems ......

I really don't want to open the book of her life here , for the obvious reason that it is too much her own and completely her personal belonging . And also because there may be so many chapters which have never been opened to me ..... not because she wanted to keep secrets from me , but because she never wants to bother us siblings with some of her very personal concerns.
Although I do not agree with her on this, there is not much that I can do to change her .... not now , or ever before .....

It is very good to be grateful to God in all situations of life , and I also agree that life is so full of ups and downs .
There is heart break  , there is disease, there is mistrust , there is betrayal , there is depression , there is selfishnesss , there is cruelty , there is helplessness ..... and much more ........

But it is not good to keep your pain to yourself when God has blessed you with a family  that cares.
I think a family of a husband , wife and their children , how much ever big it may be is still too small for each one of them to not know everything about  one another. But often we fear hurting our  dearest ones and hence keep our pains to ourselves , sharing only  happiness .
This honestly is not fair  because in doing so , with all our good intentions ,  we actually end up deceiving people who love us unconditionally .

Coming back to Mummy , her doctor always has a compliment for her :
"My best and happiest patient"
She has "taught" even the most deadpan among  her team of doctors to smile and laugh when they see her .

But I think as the body weakens with age , the under currents of her concerns and worries become rather  resentful  at being constantly pushed down to a remote  unimportant corner .
They throw themselve up in a deleterious tsunami-like attack when the heart can hold the pain within itself no more ..........
Allah ka Shukr hai , she's pulled through them .....
Fingers crossed for the future


sanjay srivastava said...

Allah ka shukr hai, i have a nice friend like u who is attached to every inch of life and full of emotions.

Zohra Javed said...

:-) thats so sweet of you to say

I'm blessed too

vinny kohli said...

So beautifully written and so touching...... (Y) :)

Zohra Javed said...

Bahot Bahot Shukriya